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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393184">Thorns &amp; Roses (Sakusa X Atsumu)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/himuning/pseuds/himuning'>himuning</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yua_Kozume/pseuds/Yua_Kozume'>Yua_Kozume</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Collaboration, M/M, MYSB, Roses, SakuAtsu, SakusaxAtsumu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:07:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393184</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/himuning/pseuds/himuning, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yua_Kozume/pseuds/Yua_Kozume</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In another world, we're the soil to a seed that decides our faith. A seed that has been planted at our back since we were born. It fosters tiny leaves until that right time comes, to bud when you meet love. It was said that only the hands of the owner could pluck the flower out of its body.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thorns &amp; Roses (Sakusa X Atsumu)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><b>"Pathetic,"</b> Sakusa muttered as he walked down the hall, hands inside his pockets. He walks in the gym like a gas molecule inside a jar; It's like he's programmed to get as far from the others as much as possible, making no eye contact and moving fast. He's living in a city that has a low crime rate, yet he behaves like everyone he meets is a potential danger.</p><p>He walks towards a corner, a space wherein he won't be bothered. As the massive crowd passed him by here and there, cheering and hollering can be heard echoing from the playing ground to the waiting grounds. Sakusa felt a lump in his heart, looking around the massive crowds of germs as he wanted to run back home. Away from other people which he addresses as filthy.</p><p><b>"Omi!" </b>Komori called out to Sakusa as he waved his hand from a distance. He walked towards Sakusa hurriedly. <b>"The game will start soon. We need to go," </b>he informed him as the gap between them grew near.</p><p><b>"Pft,"</b> Sakusa muttered as he rolled his eyes, irritated about his surroundings getting crowded. He moved away from the corner and watched his feet take steps across the glossy tiles.</p><p>They started walking towards the playing ground. Sakusa walked like he's perpetually in a hurry. Like a speed-walker, while avoiding every person he could bump into.</p><p>After a brief warm-up, the referee blew his whistle, signaling everyone to form their respective position. They jogged towards the court and positioned themselves. Then after a moment, the games started with the signal of the referee.</p><p>Sweat poured down Sakusa's face. His heart banged around in his chest, lungs screamed for air as his feet flew across the court. He watched as the ball slammed against the arms of Sakusa's teammate, it was a receive, the ball went up into the air. He shot forward and leaped up towards it. He smashed the ball as a shiver erupted through his body.</p><p>Silent. Nervous. The cheers went like a firework, slow to start and, rising to a weak explosion before erupting completely. It's a victory for Itachiyama.</p><p>The referee signaled the players to line up for a handshake. Sakusa lined with the team to bow but he didn't reach out his hand towards the other. He just gave them a glare with his cold and dark black eyes that make tiny stars as light reflects his orbs.</p><p>A player from the other team gave extra effort to have a handshake with the great Sakusa Kiyoomi. <b>"Sakusa-san," </b>the player called out as he reached out his hand.</p><p>Sakusa looked at the player's hand as disgust was written all over his face. <b>"Filthy..." </b>He muttered before walking away.</p><p><b>"Gomen!" </b>Komori apologized to the player and shook his hand. <b>"He's a germaphobe," </b>he added before walking towards Sakusa, matching his pace.</p><p><b>"You know you could've just politely turned down his request. You didn't have to be rude," </b>Komori suggested.</p><p>Sakusa huffed a sigh before rolling his eyes. "<b>If I am disgusted, I can't help it. It's an emotion we can all feel, </b>" He replied before walking away.</p><p>Sakusa took his jacket and moved towards the exit. He walked past a group of volleyball players wearing a tracksuit with a maroon jacket and white pants.</p><p><b>"SA-KU-SA," </b>Sakusa heard someone called out, he turned to check who it was. A tall player standing at about 6ft and has a very bulky manly body shape was facing him with a smirk.</p><p>Sakusa's eyebrows met as he scanned the boy standing in front of him. He has dirty blonde hair with black tufts coming out of the bottom. The boy raised his arms and pointed at Sakusa. <b>"I'll beat you and I'll make sure you're next to spike my toss," </b>he proclaimed.</p><p>Annoyed at his random blabbering, Sakusa turned his back on him and started to walk away.</p><p>One step.</p><p>Two steps.</p><p>Three steps.</p><p>Sakusa's amble was put to a halt when he heard one, simple phrase.</p><p><b>"Atsumu. Miya Atsumu, remember me, Omi-san," </b>Atsumu, introduced before he started to walk toward the playing grounds.</p><p>Sakusa huffed a sigh. <b>"Miya Atsumu, huh?" </b>He muttered. Without him noticing, a smile formed, or can you even call it a smile? His top row of teeth was showing, and there was a faint curve to his lips, but there was no crease below the eyes, no movement of the cheeks. On anyone else, it would be a grimace, at best. However, it was a sign of bliss on his face as he faced forward.</p><p>
  <b>“I’ll be waiting.”</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Atsumu’s P.O.V. (6 years later)</b>
</p><p>Ah yes, the aroma of the finely roasted coffee beans and the smell of freshly baked goods, alongside with the minimalist aesthetic of their shop. <em>‘God, I miss this place</em>’ I thought as I went inside the coffeeshop, with a smile.</p><p>As I took a step inside the coffee shop, the light softly kissed my skin as the finely brewed roasted coffee was filling my senses with its strong overpowering scent, accompanied by the calm scent of the pastries, freshly baked goods and the sweetness of the bouquet of flowers on top of the counter near the cashier. <em>‘How can I forget this place’</em> I thought to myself, reminiscing the times that I spent in the coffee shop.</p><p><b>“Welcome sir, good morning,”</b> the security guard greeted me with a smile as I entered. I just gave him a nod and smiled. I closed my eyes as I got a sniff of the coffee shop, air swirling with aromatic dreams. <b>"Nothing much has changed has it?”</b> I murmured to myself as I started to walk by the wooden tables and chairs that are being occupied by a few, the brick walls painted in the color cream to have that comforting and soft ambience in accordance to the fairy lights that are attached on top of the ceiling giving off such aesthetic to the place and lastly, the plant hanging in front of the shop which also calms down the glow of the lights.</p><p>As I went up to the cashier a smile was already plastered in her face as she knew his usual orders <b>"The usual right?"</b> she asked before smiling with such sweetness.</p><p><b>"Yes, the usual please,"</b> he smiled lightly as he had grown accustomed to the cashier, having this little friendship of theirs.</p><p><b>"Alrighty then, the usual will come up in a matter of a few minutes,"</b> I showed her a thumbs up signaling her that I’m cool with it. I scanned my eyes around the place, looking for my usual spot. To my surprise, it was occupied by a stranger, or someone who seemed familiar. His hair is so wavy and black against his white pale skin. He was wearing a mask and black clothing that almost covered every part of his body.</p><p>The feeling of familiarity was filling up the feelings inside my heart that even my head is corrupted with such emotions that I couldn't shake off. <em>‘Should I wait for him to leave or to just find another seat somewhere else…’ </em>I thought. Suddenly, I saw him put his phone back inside of his pocket. As he stood up carefully making sure he didn't touch the sides of the table. He then walked away from the table as our eyes met, his black eyes drilling into mine. I couldn't help but think - I'd never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.</p><p>With such little to no consciousness I took a step forward, mesmerized and lost into his eyes. Suddenly, A slight nudge took me back from reality as the cashier handed me the tray with my coffee and pastry on it, I raised my palm telling her to wait.</p><p>I gazed back through the area and saw the man I saw earlier leaving the store, disappointment was written in his eyes. As he opened the door, the wind blew his wavy hair, showing me his two moles on the right side of his forehead and that's when it clicked to me. <b>“Sakusa…?” </b>I muttered as I watched him walk away.</p><p>Doubt filling my head,<em> ‘What if it wasn't him? What am I going to do?’</em> I thought to myself, not realizing that he had already reached the door. My eyes were as immobile as the rest of my body as if seeing him is impossible to absorb any faster. The security guard pushed the door for him as he made his exit, I rushed through the door without ruining the formation of the furniture that was placed. As I made my exit from the shop I called out his name,<b> "SAKUSA!"</b> I walked outside and saw no traces of him. It seemed like a ghost who disappeared out of nowhere.</p><p>I walked back, scratching my forehead as I contemplated if I really saw him or my eyes just deceived me. I quickly returned to the counter and apologized to the bartender for zoning out. I took my order from her. She just gave me a reassuring smile as she shook her head, indirectly telling me that it was fine. A little while later, I fixed my stuff and left the shop, bidding everyone ‘thanks’, as I waved them goodbyes.</p><p>The next morning, the egg yolk sun poured through the cracks of the blinds as it barged its entrance into my eyes. The sight still in the clutches of the night's glue, I hesitantly rubbed the dreams away. Thoughts of the visions of sleep come and go in waves, clinging on to the very last memory of the night but with little success.</p><p><b>"It's already morning huh?" </b>I muttered as I walked my way out of my bed, scratching my belly and hair while yawning in-betweens.</p><p>I amble towards the bathroom mirror, I looked at myself. My hair was as wild as the jungle, untamable, and unruly. My once stunning golden hair now vaguely resembled a bird's nest. I just huffed a sigh and smirked as I stared at myself. <b>"Too bad, I'm still stunning despite how messy I look right now.</b> I muttered before I went straight to the bath.</p><p>After taking a bath, I went straight to the kitchen only to find a note that made my eyes grow wide. <b>"The-" </b>I gasped.</p><p><b>"THE MYSB MEETING! It's today! I forgot." </b>I shouted as I rushed towards my closet to find my uniform as I packed some spare clothes in the process.</p><p>After preparing, I ran towards the highway and rode a bus. A few people are sitting on the bus as they swamp the cab with muddied silence. I took a seat in a spare space, as the seats and windows shook with every small bump in the ragged pavement, jostling the passengers back and forth. The air conditioning pumps through only a few filters, whistling with the extreme pressure. It smells slightly of diluted gas.</p><p>I sat there, without comfort thinking of being late on the first day as an embarrassment. <em>'Faster please,</em><b><em>' </em></b>I begged in my thoughts as I looked out the window, the world sliding on the casement as they gradually turned a blur with every change of speed the ride makes.</p><p>After a few minutes, the moment that I've been waiting for. The brakes squeak and everyone lurches forward as the bus comes to a stop. I quickly ran towards the door. <b>"Excuse me! Passing through!" </b>I shouted as I passed through.</p><p>As soon as my feet landed on the ground, I started to sprint towards the gymnasium, like the winter breeze colliding into inanimate objects and crashing waves hitting the shoreline. The gap between me and the gymnasium grew closer and closer.</p><p>I reached my hand out to the door as I kneeled, trying to catch my breath from all those running I did. Suddenly, the door opened, the knob that I was about to grab was gone yet, I got a hold of something. It's warm and round.</p><p>I looked up and saw a man with wavy black hair and two moles on the right side of his forehead. His brows meeting the other as he looks down at me and glares with disgust. I gazed at where my hand was located, my face turned white. It was his crotch.</p><p><b>"It was an accident, I swear!" </b>I explained as I quickly removed my hand from his crotch.</p><p><b>"You-" </b>He's about to shout when I stood up quickly and reached for his hand but, he moved his hand away from my reach and glared at me like I'm a type of germ.</p><p><b>"I'm really-" </b>My sentence was cut off when he suddenly sprayed me a disinfectant, straight to my face.</p><p><b>"You f*cking, disgusting, filthy, human walking virus!!" </b>He shouted as he kept spraying the disinfectant on my face, cursing me with every possible word that can be associated with dirty.</p><p>I blocked the particles that the disinfectant was giving off with my hands while I cough in-betweens. When he stopped, I rubbed my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. <b>"Are you crazy?! I said I was sorry." </b>I shouted back. <b>“But you know what? They’re pretty huge.” </b>I added in hoped that he’ll take it as a compliment and calm down.</p><p>He didn't even respond instead; he rolled his eyes with disgust written all over his face and turned his back on me. <b>"Oi! Sakusa Kiyoomi! I'm talking to you!" </b>I shouted but, he didn't even bat me an eye and just continued walking like I didn't exist.</p><p>I stretched my arm out to pat pull him to face me. When my hand landed on his shoulder, he quickly turned around and gave me a glare. His glare sucked something out of me. I visibly wilted before his first clipped word was uttered.</p><p><b>"Filthy," </b>He uttered with those black narrowed, rigid, cold, and hard eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine. I felt fear. It spoke to me in its cackling voice. It told my legs to go weak, stomach to lurch and my heart to ache.</p><p>Suddenly, someone called us, a man with round, brilliant hued eyes and spiky white-silver hair with dark streaks; certain segments of it are done up as though to dubiously adjust to that of a creature, firmly enhancing the uncanny similarity he bears to a horned owl. He has this strong and solid form in him.</p><p><b>"Oi!" </b>He shouted as he waved his hand side by side exaggeratedly. <b>"Coach is already waiting! You guys are late." </b>He added.</p><p>I took a glance at Sakusa once more, his eyes still those had a deadness, a stillness of a stare. I brushed it off my head and walked towards where the coach and the others are.</p><p>I stood beside the guy who called us a while ago and another guy, and to my right is an orange head with a small height for a volleyball player. On the other hand, Sakusa stood in front of me, away from our other teammates.</p><p>Everyone was a definition of silence except for the two beside me. Their noises engulfed me, completely capturing my brain, rendering any logical thought or conclusion impossible.</p><p><b>"Oi! oi! Bokuto-san!!" </b>The orange guy greeted the man on my left, who appears to be Bokuto, as he jumped enthusiastically.</p><p><b>"HEY HEY HEY!!" </b>He greeted back as he positioned himself like he's about to be a super Saiyan soon. <b>"Hinata!! You'll finally learn from the best ace! Hey hey hey!" </b>He added, shouting like there's no tomorrow to Hinata, who appears to be the orange haired guy.</p><p>Irritated about their shouting side by side, I pinched my nose and huffed a sigh. I was about to snap and shout at these two when they turned their head to my direction. Then they grinned. As they did the temperature of the room fell a little. I saw their bared teeth. It was a Cheshire grin of sorts, the kind that was so wide it was more as if he wanted to eat everyone rather than say hello.</p><p>Hinata jumped and offered his hand for a handshake. <b>"Hinata Shoyo, I'm from Karasuno. Do you remember me, Atsumu-san?" </b>He introduced me with great enthusiasm and energy.</p><p>Before I could even utter a word, Bokuto jumped in front of me and tilted his head. <b>"Oya?" </b>He said as my brows met, confusion should be written all over my face by now. <b>"Kotarou Bokuto, that's my name! Hey hey hey! Ace of all aces! Cool isn't it?" </b>He introduced me to him.</p><p>I huffed a sigh and reached out my hand to them. <b>"Miya Atsumu." </b>I introduced myself with my head faced forward, locking my eyes with Sakusa. I felt the two shook my hand while I kept my eyes on Sakusa. He just looked at me with brows meeting the other. Before breaking off the stare, I gave him a smirk and gave these two human balls of energy a smile, as if I took their handshake seriously. <em>‘Yes, I’m Miya Atsumu, Sakusa-san. I hope you’ll remember my name this time.’ </em>I thought in my head, hoping it could reach him.</p><p>Minutes later, our coach arrived. <b>"Good afternoon everyone, I think you already know each other since we're a bit late." </b>The coach greeted us. I turned to Bokuto because I thought that the coach was already waiting and he just gave me a shrug.</p><p><b>"I believe </b><b><em>‘A bit’</em></b><b> is an understatement sir," </b>Sakusa muttered. I just rolled my eyes.<em> 'Rude ass touch-sensitive jerk.' </em>I thought.</p><p><b>"Sorry about that Omi-kun, I'll take note of time next time. Anyway, with that aside I would like each one of you to start to warm up. We're going to have a two versus two matches, to enhance your skill." </b>The coach explained. We immediately prepared ourselves, I removed my jacket and placed my bag on top of a seat. I started to stretch so did the others.</p><p>I noticed Sakusa stretching out in the corner in a room full of people, us. He didn't seem to mind as he feels like someone who has mastered the thoughts of being alone.</p><p>After stretching and warm-ups, the coach clapped both his hands, signaling us to gather around. Immediately, we moved as we were commanded. <b>"I'll be assigning your pairs randomly," </b>He said as he scanned the players. He started pinpointing the people he chose.</p><p>Little by little, each of them had found their assigned partner as I stood there patiently waiting to be paired to someone. After assigning everyone to their pairs, without us counted, he stood up. <b>"Okay, that's all," </b>He said while clapping both his hands, signaling us to start the practice.</p><p><b>"Coach wait!" </b>I called out, he turned his gaze to me and raised a brow. <b>"What about me? You haven't pinpointed me to someone yet." </b>I added. He looked around and locked his eyes to Sakusa's direction.</p><p><b>"Omi-kun," </b>He called out to Sakusa, who's busy staring at the floor all this time. Sakusa turned his head and faced our coach. <b>"You don't have a partner, right?" </b>He asked.</p><p>Sakusa just replied with a nod. <b>"Then, I guess that settles everything." </b>He clapped his hands once more and walked to his seat, watching his player's movements.</p><p>I turned my head to Sakusa and, he was glaring at me with disgust, I walked towards his direction. <b>"So, hey? I'm your partner," </b>I said.</p><p><b>"I don't care. I'm a germaphobe so, kindly stay five effin’ meters away from me," </b>He replied as he started walking away.</p><p>I matched his pace, <b>"Excuse me? Volleyball is a sport that needs teamwork."</b></p><p>I talked back, annoyed about his germophobic attitude.</p><p><b>"And viruses don't play sports</b>," He said as he continued his amble towards the court, facing the pair who are assigned as our opponents.</p><p><em>'The audacity of this germaphobe to call me a virus.'</em> I thought as I prepared myself for the match. <b>"Let's see how you'll do on this activity, you germ freak," </b>I muttered.</p><p>The game began with the referee's command, a whistle. The ball was served from the other side of the court to my direction, I quickly positioned myself and received the ball. I made sure that the ball will not fall on our court for a set, instead, I made sure it'll go towards the opponent's court immediately, not giving our side a chance to set. The same thing continued as I made sure to receive the ball twice until the ball landed on our court. It's a loss for us.</p><p><b>"Pft," </b>I muttered as I raised my hand to the back of my head and leaned back to my palm. I turned around and walked towards the bleachers when I felt Sakusa's glare from behind. I turned around to check and saw him, doing his glares like the way I predicted it to be.</p><p><b>"Why?" </b>He asked with anger in his tone.</p><p><b>"Why what?" </b>I asked back as I raised him a brow.</p><p><b>"Why did you not toss to me and just returned all those balls by force?" </b>He asked, gradually raising his voice, showing every anger and disappointment he has for this practice.</p><p>I put my hands down and cracked my neck side by side and then locked my eyes on him. <b>"Simple. My toss doesn't deserve a germaphobe like you," </b>I said as I turned my back on him. I went straight to the bleachers and drank my water.</p><p>After hours of practice, we're called by our coach to gather, so we did. He complimented the other for their performance and suggested what they need to improve. When our turn came next, his smiling face was turned into a disappointed one. <b>"I expected a lot from you two, I never thought I'd see your first performance like this," </b>He said as he gazed us eye to eye, making us feel guilty about our actions.</p><p>After his long talk, he dismissed us. I walked to the bleachers to get my things when suddenly, Sakusa blocked my way. <b>"What?" </b>I asked.</p><p><b>"Give me a toss tomorrow," </b>He commanded and left.<b></b></p><p>The next day, the same practice was given, he's still my partner and I'm his. We started to position ourselves as he eyed me with demand, I can see from the corners of eyes. He's commanding for a toss.</p><p>This time we're the one who's going to serve first, I took the ball, bounced it twice before serving with all my might. The ball was received without hesitation and was returned to our side of the court. Sakusa received the ball, the ball flew exactly to the spot to where I'm at. It's a perfect receive.</p><p>I positioned myself as I raised both my hands for a toss, I jumped as the gap between me and the ball grew near. It was a dump. I looked at my opponents' dive through the court, trying to save the ball. I love the feeling. <em>'Yeah, that's more like it. Bow down to me.' </em>I thought in my head. As my feet landed on the ground, I just smirked at my opponent who's prone to the floor.</p><p><b>"You- " </b>Sakusa was about to shout but he tried to contain his anger. I just gave him a smirk as I raised him a brow, gazing at him up and down, giving off that intimidating vibe.</p><p>The same thing happened the next day, but I gave him a toss this time, a reckless one. A toss that was way too fast for him to spike, it flew through his hand, without him leaving a single touch.</p><p>He walked towards my direction as I felt his anger boiling up. He lived in his anger, almost as cartoon characters do, so lost in that moment and the torment his brain was in. I'd see it first in his eyes, then the tension of his muscles, an inability to think soon followed. <b>"What the heck is wrong with you? Do you call that a toss?! I call that a piece of trash!" </b>He shouted.</p><p><b>"I guess you're just not the ace that I think I knew, you can't spike my toss? What a pity." </b>I replied as we turned our backs on each other, pride took over us.</p><p>Two days came, and everything was the same. Either I didn't toss properly, he didn't jump or we let the opponent just spike the ball for all they wanted. The coach was disappointed with us, so was the team. We became the most boring pair to face due to our non-existing teamwork.</p><p>After those days, we weren't able to have a proper conversation. All we did was trash-talked each other when we made a mistake on purpose, we let our feelings of pride take over us. Like Icarus, we flew too close to the sun. We thought we were invincible until the wax melted from our wings. At first, it was drip by drip. We were too busy enjoying our flight to even notice. I guess pride does that, it blinds you to your demise. Before we knew it, we were crashing down toward the angry sea. Our coach was mad. <b>“Sakusa! Atsumu!” </b>He called out.</p><p>Immediately we walke towards his direction with our heads down, we are embarrassed but, that won’t stop us from hating each other. The coach raised his hand and his assistant gave him a paper bag. He opened the bag and brought out a big shirt. <b>“I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now. You guys are not getting any better. You keep on fighting to whatever petty reason it is but, today I’d like to end it.” </b>He paused and threw the huge T-shirt to us. <b>“Get along shirt now.” </b>He commanded, which made my eyes and Sakusa’s to grew wide.</p><p>Scared of what the coach will do next, we do as commanded. Slowly I inserted myself inside the shirt. I looked at Sakusa, and his face was showing all the signs that he's disgusted. I just raised him a brow, indirectly telling him, 'What are you waiting for?'.</p><p>He just rolled his eyes and faced the opposite side as me and slowly squeezed his body inside. As his head was on its way to the top, I suddenly felt butterflies on my stomach. I tried to hold it in but, the air resists its way out. <b>"Pffrrt." </b>I heard a fart came out.</p><p>The putrid smell of unpassed feces permeates the air inside the shirt. I placed my palm to cover my face as embarrassment took over me. On the other hand, Sakusa immediately tried to reach the top of the shirt. I heard him uttering sounds as if he's about to puke.</p><p>As he reached the top of the shirt, he immediately shouted. <b>"Disgusting, shit." </b>Pinching the arch of his nose while uttering sounds of puking. I was so embarrassed. I never knew my stomach would betray me like this. It's the worst. <em>'Farting in front of a germaphobe? What the hell are you thinking, Atsumu?' </em>I thought as I continued to contemplate what the hell have I eaten to make me fart all of a sudden.</p><p>I turned to check everyone's faces. They were all trying to hold back their laugh. <b>"Atsumu-san cool!" </b>Hinata shouted before bursting into laughter, and the rest of them followed. The whole room echoed with their laughter, and it made me a lot better. Just the sound of their gales, snickers, giggles was enough to transport me far away from my embarrassment.</p><p>We turned our gaze to Sakusa, and we saw that he's turning blue. <b>"Oi, Omi-kun are you okay?"</b> Coach asked as his face turned into worry.</p><p>Sakusa just reached out his hand as if he's dying anytime soon. <b>"My..." </b>He uttered, which made everyone look at him and anticipated what his next words will be.</p><p><b>"My, what?</b>" Coach asked as he ambled towards Sakusa. I turned to him and tapped his shoulder, but he just patted my hand away. <em>'Fucking weirdo.' </em>I thought as I took my hand back.</p><p><b>"The... Dis..." </b>He uttered once more this time, we all raised our brows at him, waiting for him to utter his next words. <b>"Disinfectant fast! I can't take it any... long... er..." </b>He said as he continued to hold his breath. Bokuto burst out into laughter and tapped his back, which made both of us fall. I closed my eyes as I felt my body fall. I heard a loud bang which appears to be Sakusa, who fell first.</p><p><b>"Ack!" </b>I shouted as I felt my body hit something. Once I opened my eyes, I was shocked by what I saw, there he was, Sakusa, scratching the back of his head. I fell on top of him, which made his eyes grow wide and stop scratching the back of his head.</p><p>He tried to struggle and wiggle his way out but the space inside the shirt seemed to have shrunk with the folds that were caught in Sakusa's back. <b>"Get away from me, you pee-head virus." </b>He shouted as he tried to move away from me. Every movement he made to get out of the shirt only made it worse. I was drawn closer to him. I can feel his slim body touching mine with the clothes between our skin.</p><p><b>"Stop moving!</b>"I commanded but he didn't even bat an eye at what I said. I can feel every bit of his body move along with him, especially the part that I didn't want to feel. I just huffed a sigh. My head went blank, and there was only one thing on my mind that I know could catch his attention.</p><p>I yanked myself towards him and pressed my lips onto his. It gave me a different feeling, something that I did not expect. Although I never intended to love this feeling, I felt satisfaction. The weirdest part was when our lips came in contact with each other, it sent shivers down my spine, the intoxicating smell of his disinfectant and the taste of his lips gave a different vibe, as I looked at him, I could see different emotions but it was more of shock and disgust.</p><p>All those feelings that I felt were taken aback as he pushed me with by force, making the shirt rip into two, and threw me to the side. <b>"Ack-" </b>I said as I scratched the back of my head. He sat up and as he did he rammed his fist into my face, making me face the opposite side.</p><p><b>"Oi!" </b>I heard people shouting in the background, trying to stop the fight between me and Atsumu.</p><p>I felt blood drip down my mouth as I tasted the blood. I spit out some blood on my hand and smirked. I stare at him right in the eye, it was some sort of me trying to trigger his violent side.I raised him a brow. <b>"That's it? For a petty reason?" </b>I teased.</p><p>He gritted his teeth as I saw him clench his fist. He's quivering with anger. He must be that disgusted of me. After all, I cast this upon myself. I should've seen this coming. He was about to raise his fist on me when we heard someone shout with all superiority in his voice, which gave a shiver down my spine. <b>"Atsumu! Sakusa!" </b>He shouted. We turned our head to where the voice was coming from and saw the coach with his brows meeting the other. <b>"I've had enough of you two. Both of you, suspended! Get out!" </b>He commanded.</p><p><b>"Tch," </b>I heard him utter as we both stood up. Hinata and Bokuto gave us our things to avoid both of us having contact with one another. We walked our way out without uttering a word. We just ignored each other and turned our backs on each other as if one of us ceased to exist.</p><p>After a week, we came back, I bumped into him on my way. He was wearing a mask, as usual, I thought he'd just walk past me but I was wrong. He walked towards my direction and looked at me with disgust. <b>"What?" </b>I asked as I raised him a brow.</p><p><b>"Sorry," </b>He muttered. <b>"Kindly give me a toss." </b>He added, although his mask is covering his face, I can still feel the arrogance and dominance in him.</p><p><b>"Whatever. I'm sorry too." </b>I muttered as I walked past him, embarrassed about needing to tell him those words.</p><p>After our usual preparations and warm-up, the two versus two games started. We positioned ourselves, as usual, anticipating our opponent's movement. Like a tiger on a prone, waiting for the right time to bite his victim.</p><p>The match started with the whistle of the referee, it's our opponent's serve. I gazed upon Sakusa, he isn't ruffled today. Every step he takes seemed to me like slow motion. The pace of his footfalls is not changing one iota. <em>'Looking good' </em>I thought. After checking on him, I faced forward, smirking. <em>'This is the perfect moment, come at me, ball.' </em>I thought.</p><p>The opponent served the ball, it flew above our net down to Sakusa's arms, he received it. It was another perfect receive. I positioned myself, arms above my face just the right position for the perfect toss. As the ball flew above, I jumped and felt the ball make contact with the tip of my finger. I tossed it to him, with the perfect momentum, force, and position, he spiked it with all his might. It was aggressive yet, graceful at the same time. It was a view that can be described as perfection, even that word is an understatement.</p><p>As the ball reached the surface of our opponent's court, I felt adrenaline rushed through me. Without my noticing, I quickly ran to him, arms wide open. So was he, he was surging with emotions that he did the same thing.</p><p><b>"Yosh!!" </b>We both shouted as we reached each other's embrace.</p><p>Then suddenly, we heard the other guys in the team shouted alongside us. They were cheering for our teamwork well after all these days full of fighting, we finally did it.</p><p><b>"Ehem," </b>We heard Hinata utter from the corner. That's when I realized what we were doing. We quickly let go of each other's embrace.</p><p><b>"What a beautiful achievement, ruined by a disgusting mistake," </b>Sakusa muttered as he rolled his eyes, making it feel like it was my fault for hugging him.</p><p>I just chuckled at him, after hearing those words come out of his mouth. <b>"I guess your emotions can make you do things your germaphobe self cannot," </b>I teased.</p><p>Everyone was laughing with us when suddenly we heard a person weeping, we turned toward that direction and saw our coach. He's the one weeping all this time. <b>"They grew up so fast," </b>He muttered in between sniffs.</p><p>Everyone was laughing, it was a long day yet, it was filled with fun and excitement for the next days to come. The practice finally ended, half of the team went home already, as for me, I walked towards the club room to my surprise, Bokuto and Hinata were there, changing. I could see Bokuto’s blooming flower from his back.</p><p>Hinata's eyes sparkled as he gazed upon Bokuto’s back, seeing as how his flowers had already bloomed. <b>“Wahh! Bokuto-san! Your flower is pretty!” </b>He shouted as he continued to be mesmerized by Bokuto’s flower. It was a single flower formed by a double layer of petals with crinkly edges creating a frilly flower, it was white like freshly fallen snow, soft and crisp. The flower was Carnations, known for symbolizing sweet, pure love, faithfulness, and innocence.</p><p><b>“Tch,” </b>I uttered as I walked my way in, sitting at the bench, facing Hinata and Bokuto, watching them mesmerize each other's flowers.</p><p>Bokuto can’t help but smile widely as he stared at Hinata, who was still in awe.<b> “Yeah!! My flower is cool isn’t it?! Me and Akaashi have the same flower! Hey hey hey!! That really means we’re match made in heaven!” </b>He said cheerfully, proudly telling Hinata how he loves his flower. <b>“How about yours? Show me yours! Let’s see who has the prettiest flower!” </b>He added.</p><p>Hinata nodded, full of excitement as he took off his top and showed his back to Bokuto. His flowers form upright clumps with a bright yellow color, they’re Coreopsis flowers that symbolize the cheerfulness of both soulmates when around each other, they are the cause of each other’s euphoria.Although Hinata’s flowers were not that large compared to Bokuto’s, his were still blooming and thriving in beauty. <b>“Wahh! Your flower is pretty small but, it’s so pretty!” </b>Bokuto complemented as I stared at them with disgust.</p><p>The two then turned to me, my brow met the other as they gave me a Cheshire grin. It lit up their faces like a sallow candle in a dirty paper lamp. Instead of bringing relief to my demeanor, it made me wish I could take a step backward, away from this club room. <b>“What?” </b>I asked them.</p><p><b>“Did your flower bloom already, Atsumu-san?” </b>Hinata asked with his eyes glimmering with excitement and joy.</p><p>I just rolled my eyes and gave it a thought, I felt disgust run down my whole body.<b> “To be honest, I think it’s pretty ridiculous, letting fate take the wheel to choosing who your soulmate is. I’d even gladly pluck it out, if I were you. I mean who needs soulmate anyway?” </b>I said with a straight face, letting them know that I’m not happy with the idea.</p><p><b>“You know that's a very scary thing to say, Atsumu-san, there will be consequences to that kind of actions, you know that.” </b>Hinata explained, you can see his eyes glimmered with fear just with the thoughts of it.</p><p><b>“Like what? As if I’m scared of anything,” </b>I muttered.</p><p>He was about to answer when the door cracked open and there was Sakusa, walking towards our way like we didn’t exist. <b>“Another, how would you know if you already found your soulmate if you can’t even see whether your flower has already started growing or not. The whole idea of this flower and fate is just pure stupidity, ain’t I right Sakusa?”</b> I added, silently observing his reaction, whether he would speak up or not. In the end, he didn’t even react nor utter a single word.</p><p><b>“Well, in my case I already knew that Kageyama is the one, despite his attitude, I knew that I found peace with him.” </b>Hinata explained.</p><p>I felt defeated for a moment. <em>‘I can’t argue with these lovesick fools.’</em> I thought as I grabbed my things. <b>“Whatever,” </b>I said as I left the room. I walked towards the exit; the rays of sunset kissed my face as I smiled. <b>"Sakusa Kiyoomi, you're more interesting than I thought you were," </b>I muttered before completely stepping out of the facility.</p><p>
  <b>Sakusa’s P.O.V.</b>
</p><p>It was 8 pm already when I received a call from the coach that we’re having an emergency practice. At first, I was skeptical of this whole idea of practice at night but, when I heard our coach’s voice, it seemed legit. That’s why this is me walking towards the gym this late at night.</p><p>Once the smells of the city were disgusting to me and their chaotic fragrance set me on edge, they still do but, only to a point that they’re bearable. There was no tinge of earthy loam to the air, no fragrance of spring growth, or heady warning when rain was due. The fumes from belching vehicles underpinned everything, but punching right out of it would be the spicy offerings of the street vendors, coming sharply into focus like a camera zoom and then ebbing away again; only to be replaced by the next vendor and the next. <em>‘Disgusting’</em> I thought as the gap between me and the gymnasium door grew near.</p><p><em>‘What the actual fuck’</em> I thought to myself as I opened the gym door, expecting everyone practicing but, greeted with loud music, people dancing and doing other chaotic stuff instead. I huffed a sigh and contemplated for god knows how long they’ve been at it. I closed the door in front of me, only having one thing in mind,<em> ‘going home.’</em></p><p>As I turned around, I saw my coach, arms-crossed, staring at me, giving me a look as if I did something wrong. <b>“Go inside, Sakusa,”</b> he said in a monotone voice.</p><p><b>“Coach?”</b> I uttered. I was confused as to why he wants me to get inside.</p><p><b>“Go inside, Sakusa,”</b> he repeated, insisting me to go inside.</p><p><b>“But-”</b> I was immediately cut off when he gave me a threat.</p><p><b>“Or would you prefer to face a sanction?”</b> he sighs, telling me to join the others just this once,</p><p>I have no other choice huh, I sigh in defeat as I enter the court with him.</p><p>I just sat there in the corner away from everyone, with a cup of water in hand. The music was so loud that it made my skin tingle and my lungs feel like mush. The bass thumped in time with my heart beat as though they were one, filling me from head to toe with music. They’re reeking with alcohol. I can’t stand their scent.</p><p>Few minutes have already passed, I’m still sitting down in the same corner, questioning myself<em> ‘Why am I still here?’</em>, holding this cup filled with water, using it as my defense in case any of these filthy humans came any closer to my safe area.</p><p><b>“I probably look like an idiot, sitting here all by myself,”</b> I muttered to myself, as I scanned the court, others still sober while the others were already getting tipsy and wasted.</p><p>My eyes suddenly caught the attention of Bokuto, still drinking like there’s no tomorrow,<em> ‘Poor Akaashi, having to deal with this horned owl’</em> I thought to myself as my eyes turned to the boy he was sitting with, it was Hinata, <em>‘Wait, is he sleeping?</em>’ I asked myself, squinting my eyes a bit. I took a deep breath, as I pinched the top of the bridge of my nose, when I suddenly felt someone wrap their arm around my shoulder.</p><p><b>“What the hell?</b>” I exclaimed as I stood up from my seat. My eyes widened in shock, seeing that it was Atsumu. <em>‘What the fuck does this pee-head virus think he’s doing!?’ </em>I thought.</p><p>His head had a way of lolling, looking like he was close to complete inebriation. He raised his hand in front of me, holding his cup, with less coordination than a concussed troll, and slurred more than spoke, <b>"Drink with mee!! Sa-KU-Sa!" </b>He before falling down on bended knee.</p><p>I took a deep breath and took my gloves from my pocket. <em>‘I won’t touch this filthy human pee-head.’ </em>I thought to myself as I gaze at him with disgust. I fixed his sitting position as I sat beside him, a meter in between, when he suddenly turned to me,</p><p><b>“You know… we have this, one member in our team,”</b> He said in a gibberish way.</p><p><b>“Ye, who?”</b> I asked curiously.</p><p><b>“You know Sakusa? Damn, first time I saw the guy… already felt the cold, intimidating aura around him..” </b>constantly hiccuping while telling his story, <b>“Like dang! I would suddenly feel pressured while playing which rarely even happens! I even had the audacity to promise him a toss back when we were in highschool! Pathetic right?” </b>He added as he slurred more than spoke.</p><p><b>“Also! Speak! He knows how to speak right? So why does he rarely even talk to us, it's not like we’ll throw punches at him or anything, jeez…”</b> He paused for a moment before speaking again <b>“But then again, he is a great player, I’ll give him that… I just feel like my skills aren’t enough to match up with his…I can tell that he’s got a lot more things to show, I just need to improve more in order to help him show what he’s truly capable of doing,” </b>He added.</p><p>I was left dumbfounded with what he said, speechless is even an understatement. He then turned to me, looked down and out of nowhere, he suddenly threw up on the floor. I immediately stood up and stepped away from him. ‘<em>Disgust’ </em>That’s all I could think of as I looked away from his direction.</p><p><b>“He-... ughhh.. -lp mee…”</b> <b></b>He begged. I may be disgusted but I still have a heart. I scanned the area, trying to look for a mop nearby or something to clean the mess. I took a route where there’s not a lot of people around and found a mop.</p><p>I came back and there he was, on the prone. He looks like he’ll puke again any time soon. I placed the mop on his back and caressed his back with it. <b>“There, there,” </b>I said as I looked at him with pure disgust.</p><p><b>“You’re a very kind man, sir.” </b>He muttered as I pushed him away from his vomit with the mop. I sat there on a chair, as I continued to caress his back, back and forth with the mop. Patiently waiting for the coach to go home, so I could.</p><p>By the time the coach left, everyone could also be seen leaving the vicinity, wasted. I turned to check this pee-head virus and saw that he was lying on the floor, wasted, <b>“This germ…”</b> I told myself as I stood up, with plans of leaving him in the court all alone. However, my conscience couldn’t take it, so I took around and saw a spare garbage bag in the corner.</p><p>I took the garbage bag and wrapped it around him. Then, I took my hand gloves again and wore them. <em>'Can't let his germ take over me.' </em>I thought as I carried him to the hand truck, trolley pushcart.</p><p>I pushed him around like an object until something fell out of his pockets, it's a phone. I picked it up and saw someone calling him, the caller is named <em>'Fucker' I answered.</em><b>"Hello?"</b> I greeted him</p><p>He was silent for a while before he answered back. <b>"Is Atsumu there? I'm his twin brother." </b>He asked.</p><p><b>"Yeah, speaking of Atsumu can you pick him up? He's wasted." </b>I answered.</p><p><b>"I'll just send you the address to our place." </b>He said as he ended the call without letting me utter a word.</p><p>I huffed a sigh, as the thought of having him by my side a little more makes me puke. He reeks of alcohol and vomit at the same time, it's disgusting but, what can I do? I can't just leave him here. A minute later, I heard a buzz from his phone, which must have been his brother's text. I checked his phone once again and I was right. Without further delay, I pushed him near the highway and called for a cab.</p><p>Everything was moving smoothly according to my plan, he stays in the cart while I stay away from him but then, the cab driver said that he can't let him stay in the cart. Thus, here I am sitting beside him with a little space between us.</p><p>I stared at him. He was so handsome as he slept, despite his disgusting state. Those steady breaths, I can hear those. Somehow, those sounds made my heart flutter a bit but, I brushed it off as I'm not supposed to fall in love with such a disgusting creature.</p><p>A few minutes later we arrived at our destination, he's back at the cart. I pushed him towards Miya's residence. I rang the doorbell twice and waited. After a few minutes, the door opened. There stood a man with a large build and is very similar in appearance to Atsumu. His hair is dyed gray and his fringe is flipped to his left side.<b> "Come on in," </b>He greeted.</p><p>He took his brother from the cart, carrying him through his shoulders as we went inside. Their place was clean, the aroma of Onigiri satisfied my nose, it made me feel at ease after all those smells of booze here and there.</p><p><b>"Uhm??" </b>He raised me a brow, indirectly asking for my name.</p><p><b>"Sakusa. Sakusa Kiyoomi." </b>I answered and he gave me a faint smile and a nod.</p><p><b>"Let me just take Atsumu to his room, I'll come back," </b>He excused himself as he walked Atsumu upstairs. I just scanned the area and saw some pictures of the twin back when they were young. His smile in the picture was so pure, it seemed like he's having the best day of his life. <em>'What happened?' </em>I thought.</p><p>Whenever I looked at him there was a pain in his eyes, more like fear. It seemed like he's scared of something and his attitude is just a mask to hide the real him. After a few minutes, his brother came back. <b>"Sorry for the wait," </b>He apologized as he gestured his hand for me to sit down. <b>"I'm Miya Osamu, Atsumu's twin. Sorry for the bother he caused," </b>He introduced as I sat on the couch and he sat right in front of me.</p><p>I removed my mask to show respect and smiled at him. <b>"No, not all. He's not a bother," </b>I said. <em>'LIES! BIG FAT LIE!' </em>I thought in my head.</p><p>He just smiled. <b>"Is there anything I could do for you to show you my gratitude for taking my brother home?" </b>He asked, if I wasn't curious I would have just shaking my head and excused myself to leave. However, I felt the need to ask him what happened to Atsumu.</p><p><b>"I don't have anything that you could help me in particular but, there's this one question I would like you to answer if you don't mind," </b>I said as I looked at him straight in the eyes showing him every bit of curiosity I have.</p><p><b>"What is it?" </b>He asked.</p><p><b>"What happened to Atsumu?" </b>I asked. His eyes grew wide after hearing those, his warm and smiling eyes turned into a pained one. It seemed like something really painful happened between them.</p><p>
  <b>FLASHBACK (DISPLAYED IN ATSUMU'S P.O.V.)</b>
</p><p>To the extent I could recollect, my sibling and I were each other's half. In the event wherein he disappeared for quite a while, I'd feel numb, vacant and nothing would spur me, yet these sentiments would evaporate the subsequent that he was my other. We discussed this once. He vowed to me that there'd been consistently something at the rear of his head, such a murmuring sound. He said that he generally knew when I felt steamed, furious, or pitiful - in any event when I acted cool and impassive. I wasn't shocked by that since I felt a similar inclination on many occasions but, that bond soon came to an end.</p><p><b>"Osamu, you're cool. How about you Atsumu? Why can't you be like your brother?" </b>I heard my aunt say this when he visited us once this Christmas. I didn't know how to respond but, all I know is that I felt a sudden ache on my chest with those words said.</p><p>Months went by, the comparing became a habit in the family. It was nice and all since they're complimenting my brother but, <em>'WHY?'</em>. That's the only question that's stuck in my head. Why can't I be the same as him when I thought he and I were one? Why do I feel a sudden pang in my chest whenever I'm compared? Why? Just why?</p><p>Eventually, I got used to it. I felt numb yet, nothing changed. I just kept showing people my mask, my smile, the me that everyone would love to compare to my other.</p><p>One day, it was our PE time, we were told to change. Everyone immediately went to the changing room while I was left because I don't know where I placed my uniform. I looked everywhere and found it in my locker, as soon as I did, I walked to the changing room.</p><p>As I entered, I heard my guy classmates talking to Samu. They were laughing, I thought it wouldn't hurt to hide for a while and surprise them later, so I did. I listened carefully, word per word, sentence per sentence as each word and phrases broke me little by little accompanied by their laughter.</p><p><b>"Oy Samu! Come hang out with us this lunchtime, let's all eat together?" </b>One of my guy classmates asked my twin.</p><p><b>"Sure, can I tag Tsumu along?" </b>He asked, I was smiling the whole time as I heard my brother thinking about me.<b></b></p><p><b>"Why? I mean you guys are just the same except that you are far better than him." </b>Another one of my classmates said in a joking yet serious manner.</p><p>Everyone was laughing after that statement as my heart and trust were broken into pieces. I don't even know anymore. If Samu cares about me or he thinks the same way as them. I ran from that place and didn't attend my PE classes.</p><p>I was gloomy the whole day in school. After classes were over, I went straight home and lay down on my bed, Samu followed. <b>"Hey, are you okay?" </b>He asked.</p><p><b>"The audacity," </b>I muttered.</p><p><b>"What?" </b>He asked, confused about what I'm trying to make him realize.</p><p><b>"Why are you asking? What? Do you feel bad?!" </b>I shouted as I sat up on my bed. His face shows confusion, he didn't know how to react. I just chuckled as tears came streaming down my face. I felt pain, sadness and a part of me died at the same time. <b>"Fine! You're the better twin! I accept that! I knew all this damn time but, you know what hurts? It's when I was trying to be my best. To show you who Atsumu is. To show people that I am and not a shadow of you. I was trying my very best but, every time I do, I’m torn into pieces. I crumbled into pieces... Samu... I do..." </b>I cried as I couldn't contain these bottled feelings any longer. They're so heavy to carry. It hurts.</p><p>Samu tried to hug me but I pushed his hands away, telling him to go and leave me. Ever since that day, I have never talked to him like I used to. I don't feel the bond anymore between us, I didn't know if I was feeling rage or sadness. All I know is that I never wanted to have my fate entangled with someone again.</p><p><em>'I'm so used to sharing to the point that I got tired of it...'</em> I thought.</p><p>
  <b>Sakusa’s P.O.V.</b>
</p><p>Hearing those words made me feel sadness for him, I never knew he felt like that all this time. That's when I remembered how he complimented me when he was drunk a while ago. He was feeling small for he never felt he was good enough. He always felt that he was second to someone.</p><p><b>"If ever my brother was rude to you, please forgive him. I think it's his defense mechanism." </b>His brother explained. I just gave him a nod as a response.</p><p>We talked for a little more before I left, he told me that it was his brother’s first time in a long time to go back home. He’s currently living in a small apartment in the city. My heart feels heavy, I don't want to pity him but I can't help it. He's living in my head right now. Rent-free.</p><p>The next morning, we had practice so I walked straight to the gym. As I arrived, they were all gathered there, like nothing happened yesterday. I scanned the area and there were no traces of Atsumu in the vicinity.</p><p>
  <b>Atsumu’s P.O.V.</b>
</p><p><b>"Well, that's fuckin' embarrassing,"</b> I thought to myself. I'm currently in the back of the gym, trying to recollect my thoughts as I remembered glimpses of what happened last night. <b>"I just... couldn't face him right now!"</b> I vented out angrily, beating my head as though I was punishing myself; although there's a slight chance that those were just mere dreams, I still couldn't wrap my head around it.</p><p><b>"And the fact that I ended up in that stupid Manor,"</b> I furiously said as I punched the wall in front of me, which I quickly regretted doing. <b>"Argh, shit," </b>I cried out as I continued shaking and flailing my hand to help ease the pain, but none of it is working; <b>"Dumb move Atsumu, dumb move,"</b> I scolded myself while walking back.</p><p>Then, I realized if I walked inside, I needed to greet him. I walked back and forth as I contemplated and rehearsed how I would greet him. I turned to face the wall and looked at it. <b>"Let me borrow you for a while, okay?" </b>I said as I fixed myself.</p><p>I took a deep breath, then huffed out a sigh. I smiled as naturally as I could and waved my hand at the wall. <b>"Hey, Omi-san!" </b>I greeted, but then turned away from the wall shooking my head. My face was welcomed by my palm, a facepalm.</p><p><b>"I can't! This is too embarrassing for me to handle." </b>I said as I sobbed in my thoughts. I looked up and stretched my arms up and slowly brought them down. I took another deep breath and huffed a heavy sigh. I turned to the wall once more. <b>"Oi! Sakusa, nice weather isn't it?" </b>I rehearsed, which made me cringe and laugh.</p><p><b>"Forget it! I'll act as if nothing happened." </b>I assured myself before turning to the corner of the building so that I could finally go inside and practice before I get punished for being late.</p><p>When turned to the corner where the entrance of the gym was, I saw him walk by, and so I immediately turned and hid, trying to think of another way to enter the gym without being noticed.</p><p><b>"Hey, hey, hey!" </b>Bokuto suddenly greeted as he smirked at me in a teasing manner. <b>"Atsumu?! What are you doing here, huh?"</b> He added, teasingly trying to get the words that he wanted to escape from my mouth or that’s what I thought. Then, my eyes suddenly grew wide when I realized something. <em>‘Don’t tell me he’s been here the whole time?!’ </em>I thought as I glared at him with my eyes wide open. He just titled his head like the owl that he is. I massaged my temples. 'Ugh, why does it have to be the bird-brain' I thought to myself as he walked closer to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he let out an <b>"Ehe"</b> sort of expression as he led me inside the gym.</p><p><b>"Ah! There you are!" </b>The coach exclaimed as he saw both me and Bokuto enter the gym; <b>"Now that everyone is here, let's start!"</b> He announced as he clapped his hands then divided us into two teams.</p><p>Sakusa and I are in the same team, playing by each other's side; although the scattered thoughts running through my head haven't disappeared away yet, it thankfully didn't affect my performance. During the whole match we never uttered a word to each other, making it awkward but, at the same time effective since I’ll get more distracted if he does.</p><p>The match ended with one of our peers smashing the ball to the ground; It was loud and powerful; the referee blew their whistle as they gestured that our team earned another point, which results in us winning the match. Sakusa suddenly approached me, still a few feet away from me, <b>"Hey, your tosses are on point,"</b> after saying those words, he turned away and acted as though nothing happened.</p><p><em>'Did I just hear that right? Did I just get a compliment from him?</em>' I asked myself, still dumbfounded about what just happened. Yes, I do appreciate what he just said there. It's nice to hear something nice from him every once in a while; that might be the first. Although it was unusual, I still accepted it since he doesn't say those things quite often.</p><p>I walked towards the bench to get my towel and bottle of water when suddenly, Hinata called me from behind. <b>"Tsumu-san!"</b> He called out. I turned and saw him holding a clean towel and bottled water. <b>"For you,"</b> He added.</p><p><b>"Eh?"</b> I asked as my brows met due to confusion. He handed me the bottle of water and the towel.</p><p>He smiled like the bright tangerine that he is, then turned to point at Sakusa, who is currently drinking through his bottle. The sweat on his skin glimmers as the light reflects it. He looks hot as those sweat from the tips of his hair drops down to his soaked clothes. <b>"Atsumu-san?" </b>Hinata called me out as he waved his hand in front of my face. Little did I know that my jaw dropped down as I mesmerized his features.</p><p>I looked at Hinata, escaping my gaze from Sakusa. <b>"Yeah? Thanks."</b> I said as I took the bottle of water and the towel that he was giving me. I just smiled as naturally as I can and walked to the bench staring at the bottle of water while wiping myself with the towel.</p><p>I was put to a halt when the towel reached my nose. In that intimate space, close to the towel Sakusa gave me, I already knew the scent of his perfume was something I'd always crave. There was something of dancing flowers about it, that aromatic song, that floral orchestra of the soul. <b>"Your perfume smells like something I've been longing for..." </b>I muttered as I felt my lips arched up with a smile on my face. <em>‘Thanks.’ </em>I said in my thoughts.</p><p>In a blink of an eye, the practice ended, and we were dismissed immediately. I packed my things on the bench when suddenly, Sakusa came towards my direction. <b>"Hey..." </b>He greeted as he came close, leaving a meter away in between us.</p><p>I turned in his direction and raised him a brow. <em>'What does this man want from me?' </em>I thought when suddenly I remembered he gave me his water bottle and towel a while ago. He must have come to me to ask for his stuff back. <b>"Are you here for your towel?" </b>I asked and immediately turned my head to my bag, looking for his towel.</p><p><b>"No, stop." </b>He commanded, which I didn't seem to have heard properly. I heard him huffed a sigh and wore his gloves. He took me by my wrist, which made me face him. <b>"I said, stop." </b>He commanded, once more this time, it seemed like with full authority.</p><p>As I faced him, I saw something in his eyes, which I can't seem to understand. <b>"Are you going home?" </b>He asked.</p><p>I scratched my head as I removed his hand on mine. <b>"Yeah, why?" </b>I replied.</p><p><b>"I'll take you home. I'll wait outside." </b>He said then, left immediately without even giving me a chance to speak. I scratched my head as I've been noticing a lot of changes lately. <em>'Did I do something to make him change like this?' </em>I thought to myself.</p><p>I quickly packed my things and walked outside, only to see him leaning against the door of his car, waiting while looking up at the sky with awe. <b>"Hey..." </b>I greeted, which made him turn in my direction right away. He just gestured his head for me to get in and unlocked the door with a click on the car remote.</p><p>I quickly got inside at the back of the car as I was placing my things at the seat, he turned to me and with brows meeting the other. <b>"Who told you you're sitting at the back?" </b>He asked, which made my eyes grow wide and raise my brows indirectly. <em>'Excuse me, what?'</em></p><p>He rolled his eyes before locking his eyes on mine. <b>"You. Front. Seat. Now." </b>He commanded before turning his head to the steering wheel. <b>"Leave your things at the back. I just need you in front." </b>He added.</p><p>As I left the back seat and quickly moved to the front, I couldn't help but arch a smile on my lips. <em>'Ghad, why is this man being so dominant with his words? It's making him look hot.' </em>I thought.</p><p>He asked for my address and started driving. The whole ride was silent until we arrived at the apartment. He helped me carry my things, although it wasn't needed. As we reached the door of the apartment, I stopped and stared at him. <b>"My apartment's a mess, are you sure you'll take my things inside yourself?" </b>I asked.</p><p>For a moment, he thought for himself before giving me an answer. <b>"Yeah..." </b>He muttered like he was unsure whether his decision was right. I rolled my eyes. <em>'You asked for it, don't regret your decision.' </em>I thought as I opened the door for him. I walked my way in and opened the lights.</p><p>To his surprise, a messy room was what welcomed him. It wasn't just a mess, it was a disaster zone. It looked like a drunken cyclone had erupted in my closed strewing my clothes across the floor, then made its haphazard way across to the desk to do the same to my school work. The only clues that this uber-chaos was human-made were the partially drunken cups of tea littered about the floor and bedside table in various states of mold growth.</p><p>He pinched the arch of his nose and took a deep breath. <b>"I changed my mind. I can't do this. " </b>He said as he handed me my things with disappointment. I just laughed at him which made him roll his eyes. <b>"Clean when you have time. If you don't, I'll clean you with it." </b>He said as he turned his back on me, leaving me time to utter a single word. I don't have anything to say, after all, those words caught me off-guard.</p><p>I felt a blush burning through my cheeks and my face felt like a hot oven. I suddenly felt awkward as I attempted to hide my rosy cheeks behind my skinny fingers. <b>"What... the hell was that?" </b>I muttered as I walked slowly inside and placed myself on my messy couch.</p><p>Weeks passed by, and everything stayed the same. He'll give me water and a clean towel during breaks, besides he'll also take me home. I have gotten used to it. I've even counted all the towels he gave so far, I collected 24 in total. They all have his scent. It calms me down.</p><p>Today's practice was done, and we're just here for the coach's important announcement. I stood beside Sakusa, who seemed like he didn't mind. A minute later the coach came and gave his announcement. <b>"For the next three days, we'll be having a training camp. I want you guys to prepare your things tonight and come here tomorrow morning." </b>The coach announced.</p><p>Sakusa pinch the arch on his nose and huffed a sigh. <b>"Where are we going this time?" </b>He asked, carefully contemplating whether the place they're going to will be dirty to his preference or something he can bear.</p><p><b>"That'll be a surprise, Omi-kun. If I tell you now, then there will be no thrill." </b>He replied, then clapped his hands twice, a signal that we're officially dismissed.</p><p>I took my things and turned to Sakusa. <b>"Omi, I won't be riding with you today. I still have things to fix." </b>I said and turned my back in a flash, leaving no time to utter a word. <em>'I must do this, for the team.' </em>I thought.</p><p>
  <b>FLASHBACK (A meeting four days ago)</b>
</p><p><b>"Okay, guys, we're going to a beach this week," </b>Coach announced, which made Bokuto and Hinata's eyes glimmer with excitement.</p><p><b>"Waah! THE BEACH!!" </b>Hinata and Bokuto shouted as they jumped up and down like there's no tomorrow.</p><p>I looked around and saw that Sakusa wasn't around. <b>"Uhm, coach? Why are we starting the meeting without Sakusa?" </b>I asked as I scratched the back of my head.</p><p><b>"Simple. Sakusa won't come with us if he knows. That's why I made this emergency meeting. I want you guys to keep everything a secret until I announce the date of the outing." </b>He explained, and every one of us nodded as a response.</p><p>I placed my thumb and forefinger on my chin as I contemplated. <em>'Well, the coach is right. He wouldn't come, knowing how germaphobe he is.' </em>I thought.</p><p>
  <b>FLASHBACK END</b>
</p><p>I quickly went to the back of the gym and helped carry all of the stuff needed for the training camp. We loaded some tents and some cooking stuff.</p><p>
  <b>SAKUSA’S P.O.V.</b>
</p><p>The day of the camp came, and I walked inside the bus and sat at the back. I felt myself dozing off as the bus started moving as I did, my head lolled onto the window, my eyelids finally slipping closed. The rest of me slowly leaned into the window, the rest of my body going limp.</p><p>I woke only to be surprised by the scenery in front of me. I walked out of the bus, blinking my eyes a hundred times, refusing to believe what I'm seeing. I'm at the beach. The sand with the most gentle hue of gold, almost earthen and muted, the humble star of the scene. The driftwood that comes upon the buoyant waves as tiny rescue boats. Then there is the seaweed, that flora of those salty waves, as deeply green as any high summer foliage.</p><p>I turned to scan my eyes to everyone, who isn't a single bit flustered about what's in front of them right now. <b>"Hey, I'm not hallucinating , right?" </b>I asked as I rubbed my eyes.</p><p>Suddenly, I felt two pea-heads surrounding me whisper in my ear. <b>"Surprise, Omi-san! Welcome to the beach!" </b>They greeted me.</p><p><em>'No, this can't be. The dirty sand. The filthy sea-water. The cold sea breeze, it's all in front of me. My skin, my hygiene, everything's a disaster!' </em>I shouted in my thoughts, hoping that everything that I'm seeing is just a mere dream and not a reality.</p><p>I felt Bokuto move his hand to my shoulder and slowly massage it. <b>"Relax, Sakusa! This will be fun!!" </b>He shouted which made me turn to him and pat his hand away from me.</p><p><b>"Hands off!" </b>I commanded.</p><p><b>"Why are we here?"</b> I asked as I took a step closer to their coach, refusing to believe everyone around him.</p><p><b>“You’ll see, Omi-kun,” </b>He replied as he turned his back from me and faced the others. <b>“Move your things to the beach.” </b>He commanded the others, making them obey and move the things to the beach.</p><p>I moved with the others towards the camping site, where later on we are called for the coach's announcement. He asked us to sit on white sand but I refused. I couldn't let myself be touched by that filthy sand.</p><p><b>"We're here to improve your ball control, footwork, and skills. There’s been research that beach volleyball is more difficult than the volleyball we play everyday. This training will help you gain more control of your movements."</b> the coach explained.</p><p><b>"then why here of all places? We could just have fake sand at the court." </b>I sneeringly asked,</p><p><b>“You’ll know as soon as the training starts, Omi-kun. For now, I’ll let you guys enjoy, tomorrow you’ll suffer.” </b>He said then, clapped his hands telling us we’re dismissed. The rest of the team ran towards the sea.</p><p>The coach let out a laugh; as they both of us stood far from the shore, watching the other members living their life to the fullest; having fun like there's no tomorrow.</p><p>The coach was fully aware that I am not interested in things like that, but he still tried to persuade him to join the others, which I repeatedly declined; not until Bokuto came where me and the coach was, and squirted water using his water gun,</p><p><b>"Argh! Cut it out!"</b> I furiously vented, giving Bokuto death stares,</p><p>The human owl suddenly felt the shivers run down to his spine as he quickly turned away. In his mind, he just wanted to cheer me up since he noticed that I’ve been out of it ever since they arrived.</p><p><em>‘I shouldn't have done that,’</em> I thought to myself while massaging the bridge of my nose. I knew he has good intentions,</p><p><b>Please, excuse me, </b>I excused myself, now following the owl’s trail,</p><p>Knowing how sensitive Bokuto can be on some occasions, I knew that I was too harsh on him. When I was about to apologize; I was immediately cut off when Hinata suddenly squirted me with his water gun;</p><p>I glared at Hinata which made him realize what he had done, his mind quickly went blank. Fear, written on his face; it felt like death has come upon him, ready to reap his soul; he couldn't even decide whether to just run away from the whole situation or to apologize to me non-stop,</p><p><em>‘Who in their right mind would bring a water gun to the beach? Pft- Idiots.’</em> I muttered to myself, holding my temper, and trying to calm every vein that I have.</p><p>A few seconds later, instead of being mad or giving them death glares, I smiled at them, I even let out a chuckle which made the other two nervous and worried. It’s rare to see me smile, laugh even, but I did it out of pity. I didn’t want to ruin what’s nice for them and on the other hand I want to get my revenge, my way.</p><p><b>“Do you have a spare water gun?”</b> I asked, which made the two shocked,</p><p><b>“Ye! I have another one!” </b>Hinata responded as he quickly ran to his bag to find his spare</p><p>While Hinata was busy finding his spare gun, I took the chance to apologize to Bokuto while they were alone; The human owl reassured me that it was fine, and he shouldn’t have done that out of the blue,</p><p>When Hinata came back and gave me the loaded gun, immediately shot the two in the face; the three enjoyed each other’s company, chasing each other with their guns and shooting each other,</p><p>After a while, the three went to clean themselves in the shower room. Deep in thought, Sakusa was drained with hot water in the shower room. <em>'I had fun? but the sea has so many germs..</em>' His train of thoughts was all about how he enjoyed playing with the guys awhile ago.</p><p>While the others are still in the shower room, Hinata and Bokuto after finishing the bath they had helped make the bonfire as the sun sets. Few hours later, the bonfire was lit and the moon shone bright under the gleams of the beautiful and calm sea. On the other hand, I walked towards the balcony of the hotel, mesmerizing the beautiful full moon.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><b>"Alone again?" </b>the coach asked, which made me turn to him, shocked about his sudden appearance. I just gave the coach a nod and turned my gaze to the moon once more, mesmerizing it’s beauty with awe.</p><p>As the elder lad came closer to where I was standing, a voice can be from below, shouting and calling out someone’s name, my name in particular.</p><p><b>“Sakusa!”</b> <b><br/>
</b> <b><br/>
</b> <b>“Sakusa!”</b> <b><br/>
</b> <b><br/>
</b> <b>“Sakusa!”</b><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The people from below called out repeatedly. Out of curiosity, the both of us looked down to see who it was, with unsurprised expressions, we see Hinata and Bokuto waving at them from afar; the two males who were in the balcony were several feet above from where Hinata and Bokuto were standing, so the only way they could communicate and understand each other is by shouting,</p><p><b>“Oi! Sakusa! The bonfire is ready! Wanna join us?”</b> Asked the horned owl,Bokuto.</p><p>I huffed a sigh with a lazy expression all written on my face. Coach chuckled for a bit and placed his hand on my shoulder, as if he was my father, it was gentle and reassuring. <b>“Join them,”</b> the coach commanded which made me raise my eyebrows as I looked at him<b>.“It’s not everyday you’ll experience something like this,”</b> The coach added.</p><p><b>“But how about you-“ </b>I asked, wishing to refuse but was immediately cut off; I didn’t want to leave the elder lad alone, more like I didn’t want to join them in their filthy night ritual.</p><p><b>“Oh hush you, don’t worry about me, I’m too old for those kinds of things, now go and join the others” </b>The elder lad explained with a smile on his face, reassuring me that I’m free to leave and join the others.</p><p><b>“Thank you”</b> I said and took a step back and bowed to him.</p><p><b>“Oh pft, no need to be so formal, now go and join the others”</b> The coach stated with sheer delight while chuckling in between his statement; I then proceeded to head down and meet with the others, although, I was tired to do so I thought it might be better if I bond with them a little more.</p><p>As I was exiting the premises, I was welcomed by an orange haired fellow and a horned owl who happened to be waiting for him, <b>“Hey, hey hey! What took you so long?” </b>Bokuto curiously asked,</p><p><b>“Nothing, you should be concerned about.”</b> I said in a light teasing tone</p><p><b>“woah, who are you and what have you done to Sakusa Kiyomi? Our usual Sakusa Kiyoomi wouldn’t even dare to join us.”</b> the owl teasingly asked with a shocked expression, the orange haired fellow was laughing along as the two other lads talk,</p><p><b>“Oh, shut up!” </b>I said as we both walked towards the bonfire where everyone was waiting. I sat across Atsumu who seemed to be having fun cooking some marshmallows.</p><p><b>“That looks tasty.” </b>I teased, which made him turn his gaze on me.</p><p><b>“Oh, hey you’re here.” </b>He greeted, then gave me the marshmallow that he’s been cooking but I refused and just gave him a smile.</p><p>After a few while, they started passing a few drinks here and there and opened up a conversation, some of them bragged about their adventures, pasts, and plans about the future;</p><p>A little while later, one of the team members finished his bottle of beer and proposed to play a game which the others quickly agreed on, it’s simple, one of them will spin the bottle and whoever the capsule lands on must choose between truth or dare.</p><p><b>“Let’s begin,” </b>The tipsy Hinata announced as he spun the bottle which landed on Bokuto.</p><p><b>“Bokuto-san, truth or dare</b>” The group asked as they showed him a cheshire grin, which didn’t bother Bokuto by one bit.</p><p><b>“Let’s start off strong, dare! HEY HEY HEY!!”</b> Bokuto said, full of determination as he does his usual pose, like he’s going super saiyan anytime.</p><p><b>“Okay, yell out the first word that comes to mind,” </b>Hinata shouted</p><p><b>“AGASSHEEE”</b> Bokuto confidently shouted which made the whole group burst into laughter. I turned my gaze to Atsumu as the cold sea breeze made its way to our bonfire. I felt chills, so did Atsumu. I saw him blow his warm breath on his hand to warm himself up.</p><p>I stood up from my seat and removed my jacket. I placed it on top of his shoulders. <b>“It’s cold. Wear it.” </b>I commanded as I went back to my seat while the others were still focused on Bokuto’s bragging about his boyfriend. I don’t want them to notice my small advances.</p><p>As I sat down at my seat, I glanced at him one more time. His face turned rosy as the fire lit up his face. Not only his cheeks, but his whole face turned red. Though the ears had been hidden among shadows of the night, it was obvious that they were as rosy as his face. Without me noticing as a smile arch up on my lips, that's when I saw him turn to hide most gently. <em>‘Cute.’</em></p><p><b>“Yeah yeah, we get it you’re in love! Stop it!” </b>The other singles in the team teased as they teasingly threw bottles at him. Bokuto just laughed at them. They then, spinned the bottle once and once it landed, my eyes grew wide. It landed on me.</p><p><b>“Ohh! Sakusa-san!! Nice!!” </b>They shouted. I rolled my eyes and huffed a sigh.</p><p><b>“TRUTH OR DARE!! TRUTH OR DARE!!” </b>the whole group protested as I pinched the arch of my nose. <em>‘What the heck did I just bring upon myself.’ </em>I thought, disappointed at the life choices that I’ve made.</p><p><b>“Whatever. I don’t trust your dares neither your truth but, I don’t want to ruin your so called happiness so truth.”</b> I replied as they looked at each other as if they had a plan in mind.</p><p><b>“OHHH!! You heard it boys! He chose truth.” </b>They teased as the other laughed as if they already planned this ahead of time. They then turned their glance at me and gave me a cheshire grin of some sorts.</p><p><b>“Stop with the unnecessary reactions. Let’s just get this over with so I can leave.” </b>I said. I was being impatient not because I really want to leave fast, but because I was a bit scared of what they have planned ahead. Although I have nothing to hide, I still feel butterflies in my stomach as they continue their teasing here and there.</p><p><b>“Drum roll, please!” </b>Bokuto shouted and the other followed, imitating the sounds of drums, making my heart beat faster. <b>“Dugudugudugudugu,” </b>They uttered.</p><p><b>“Truth or dare king, I dare you to spit the truth out of our beloved germaphobe, Sakusa. Thus, in that case I offer you the question!!!” </b>Bokuto paused and turned to his friends who’s laughing at his tispy attitude. <b>“Are you currently in love with someone?” </b>He asked, which made my heart skip a beat.</p><p>I huffed a sigh and turned my gaze at the dark night sky above. It was sparkling with the stars and the moon shone just as bright as the images that slowly flashed inside my head.</p><p>
  <b>FLASHBACK</b>
</p><p>After knowing what happened to Atsumu’s past, he lived in my head, rent free. I couldn’t help but think about him. The way that he lived his life knowing that he’ll always be second to someone. I hate it. I felt like I needed to do something, as if it’s my obligation to make him see a better perspective of the world that we’re living in right now. It wasn’t because I pitied him, I felt something like it was far greater than pity.</p><p>The next day after the party I stayed up all night, contemplating how to be kind to a pee-head virus. I faced my laptop and opened my search engine.</p><p><b><em>“How to be ki-” </em></b>I typed yet, I hesitated which made me delete all the letters that I have typed in that search box. I welcomed my face with a face palm <em>‘Ugh, why am I doing this? I look so pathetic.’ </em>I thought to myself.</p><p>I took a deep breath then, faced my monitor once more. I slapped my face with both my hands, making my face turn bright red and leave my palm marks on my face. <b>“I can do this, I’m just searching. Nothing more, nothing less.” </b>I muttered to myself as I started to type what I wanted to type earlier.</p><p><b><em>“How to be kind?”</em></b> I typed and the search engine gave me links to a site. It gave me answers. It suggested that I do my kindness through little things such as giving water, towel and giving a person a ride home.</p><p>As I read those answers, I have come to a conclusion that I’ll do this to Atsumu. I want to make him feel like he’s wanted, cause he is. It’s not because I like him or anything, but because I feel like I’m obliged to do this. In that case, I decided to go to a 24/7 market at 1 am in the morning.</p><p><em>‘I mean, the later the time is the less the people there are.’ </em>I thought to myself as I walked around the isles looking for a sale of towels. As I arrived at the towel section, I looked at every towel there was. There’s a cotton fabric, silk and many more that my vocabulary lacks to describe.</p><p>I caressed the towels like how I want my care to reach him. I felt every roughness and softness of the towels. Once, I found the right towel with the right amount of softness that I want, I took 2 dozens of them and placed them on my cart. Although there’s only a few people around, everyone looked at me like a weirdo. They probably think I’m buying it for a hotel.</p><p>After all those shopping I made, I went straight home and washed each of the towels and placed them in the dryer. I even placed my favorite scented candle near them, so they would smell good when they’re used.</p><p>The day of the practice came, I waited until break to get all my courage to give him my towel which I’ve put a lot of effort into. I opened my bag and took out a bottle of water and the towel. As I grabbed the towel, I felt hesitation in my veins. <em>‘Lol. What are you, stupid? Why are you giving a fuck about Atsumu. Is he a part of your life? I thought you only saw him as I pee-head virus.’ </em>My thoughts said to myself, trying to deceive me in every possible way.</p><p>I closed my eyes and huffed a sigh and as I did I saw a memory flashed through my eyes, it was the memories of the day when they had a party and he was drunk.</p><p><b>“You know… we have this, one member in our team,”</b> He said in a gibberish way.</p><p><b>“Ye, who?”</b> I asked curiously.</p><p><b>“You know Sakusa? Damn, first time I saw the guy… already felt the cold, intimidating aura around him..” </b>constantly hiccuping while telling his story, <b>“Like dang! I would suddenly feel pressured while playing which rarely even happens! I even had the audacity to promise him a toss back when we were in highschool! Pathetic right?” </b>He added as he slurred more than spoke.</p><p><b>“Also! Speak! He knows how to speak right? So why does he rarely even talk to us, it's not like we’ll throw punches at him or anything, jeez…”</b> He paused for a moment before speaking again <b>“But then again, he is a great player, I’ll give him that… I just feel like my skills aren’t enough to match up with his…I can tell that he’s got a lot more things to show, I just need to improve more in order to help him show what he’s truly capable of doing,” </b>He added.</p><p>The exact look on his face on that memory melted my heart. The way he complimented me although, he didn’t want to pierced through my heart, not in a bad way but, in a way that I felt a spark in my chest. <b>“Okay, Sakusa! You can do this.” </b>I said as I opened my eyes, cheering myself up.</p><p>I walked towards Atsumu’s direction only to be faced by my weak legs, they’re shaking as if they don’t want to. In addition to that is the butterflies in my stomach. <b>“What the heck legs! Move!” </b>I whispered to myself when, suddenly Hinata passed me by and saw me in a pitiful state.</p><p><b>“Oh, Omi-san! Are you okay?”</b> He asked as he tilted his head a little bit trying to see me clearly. </p><p><b>“Yeah…” </b>I replied and was about to turn around but, my sanity wouldn’t let me. I turned to Hinata and looked at him. <b>“Say Hinata can you do me a favor?” </b>I asked, which he eventually did.</p><p>
  <b>FLASHBACK END.</b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>‘I finally know the answer…’</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b>ATSUMU’S P.O.V.</b>
</p><p>As the people in the group asked him about who he likes, my heart skipped a beat, it was shouting and hoping that he'd say that it was me. I was hoping with every bit of my heart. I looked at him as his lips slowly arched up a smile that I’ve never seen when he was with me. All those kindness and car rides that he did with me, never have I ever seen him wear that smile with me, not even once. And with that, I knew at the bottom of my heart that I’m not the one, no matter how hard I wish I was, I will never be the one.</p><p><b>“If going to extra lengths means I like someone then, yes I like him. I like the way he shows me his tough side when I know how vulnerable he is. I like how he tries everyday to impress me in his little actions. He’s someone special and maybe he’s already a part of me. I like his eyes sparkle when he smiles, he just I don’t know. An absolutely imperfect germ yet, the most perfect germ in my eyes.” </b>Sakusa answered and he did. I felt my heart crack. The nausea swirled unrestrained in my empty stomach. My head swam with half-formed regrets. My heart felt as if my blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. My melancholy mood hung over me like a black cloud, raining my personal sorrow down on me wherever I went.</p><p><em>‘I guess this is my game over.’ </em>I thought as I stood up. I didn't know how long but I just knew that I felt empty. I walked away from the campfire and went straight to where my feet took me. I can still hear them talk cheerfully without me.</p><p>“okayokay, who has the nicest butt here?” someone asked cheekily</p><p>“oh! let’s see” Someone said deviously</p><p>he then stared closely at everyone, locking eyes as his eyes run through the whole group, and later on gave his answer,</p><p>“Y'all not gonna lie, Bokuto-san has some nice cake” he said while looking at Bokuto, everyone then followed and stared at Bokuto and thought it was true,</p><p>“Y’all want some of this cake?” Bokuto said in a sassy tone, snapping his fingers which made everyone crack up. Those were the last words that I heard from them as I continued to walk further away from the crowd. ‘<em>I bet they didn’t even recognize me leaving.’ </em>I thought as I let my feet move me to where it takes me.</p><p>I sat at the edge of the sand as the cool water laps at my feet, fizzing and bubbling like brine.Waves ahead roar and roll down, crashing onto the shore with a soft hiss; peeling away at the deep bronze sand beneath my feet.</p><p>I lay my head on the sand as I mesmerized the moon up above. I don’t feel like crying but I just feel empty. I closed my eyes for God knows how long until someone came up to me and spoke.</p><p><b>“aren’t you going inside with the others?” </b>A familiar voice asked, although I know it’s Sakusa, I didn’t have the guts to face him after walking out like that.</p><p><b>“Why are you still here?” </b>I asked without opening my eyes and just keeping my cool.</p><p><b>“C’mon it’s cold out here. Everyone’s going to their rooms, you should do the same.” </b>He said as I felt him sat next to me.</p><p><b>“Why do you care?” </b>I asked. <b>“It’s my life.” </b>I added.</p><p><b>“Because I want to.” </b>He said which made me chuckle. <b>“What’s so funny?” </b>He asked.</p><p><b>“Pathetic.” </b>I muttered, staying still in my position. I have no plans to obey him. I mean what for? I love the cold water that touches the soles of my feet and the cold breeze that defines the amount of heaviness I can feel in my chest.</p><p><b>“I’ll give you three seconds to move.” </b>He threatened but I didn’t pay him attention.</p><p>Silence surrounded us for a moment. This kind of thick silence would normally chill me, especially on an inky night devoid of even moonlight or stars, but tonight it works like a salve. I feel it. The more absolute it is the stronger its medicinal effect.</p><p>
  <b>“One...Slow and uncertain”</b>
</p><p>
  <b>“Two...Soft and smooth”</b>
</p><p><b>“Three...Plump and delicious” </b>He counted as he added some phrases. He paused for a while and faced me. <b>“You asked for this.” </b>He said as I felt him.</p><p>The next thing I knew, Sakusa had slammed his lips to mine and nearly knocked all wind from my lungs. I hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my grant of access, delved inside my mouth. It was a very sloppy kiss with the strong scent of beer, he must have drunk some when I left, being exchanged in the intermingling of our billowing breaths. My arms reached up and tangled around his thick, strong neck.</p><p>Suddenly, flashes of his confession flashed before my eyes. In an instant, I pulled away. <b>"Stop," </b>I commanded as I pushed him away from me. <b>"I need to go, this isn't right," </b>I said as I quickly turned around and ran to my room. My face is burning. I know I liked it but it's not appropriate. <em>'He's just drunk. He doesn't like you!' </em>I thought to myself.</p><p>As I entered our room, Bokuto welcomed me with a question.<b> “Hey, hey hey! Are you okay?” </b>Bokuto asked as he saw me enter the room in a hurry, flustered and in shock; my face, almost like a tomato.</p><p><b>“No, I’m not!”</b> I answered while panting, panting in between, I was freaking out, I didn’t know what to do, the first thing I immediately think of was running away, and so I did;</p><p>After the incident at the beach we started the hell of training. Moving and hopping in the sand is more troublesome than on the courts. In contrast to indoor, sea shore volleyball powers a player to recognize and build up their more fragile abilities. But eventually, it came out worth it. We gain more footwork and control through these games.</p><p>Soon enough the hellish camp soon came to an end. Everything went well as if he forgot what happened between us. Like I thought he must be drunk that time, nothing more and nothing less.</p><p>
  <b>SAKUSA’S P.O.V.</b>
</p><p>As soon as the training camp ended, the coach bombarded us with additional training for our next match. I didn’t mind at all but Atsumu has been acting weird around me lately. He won’t even accept my towels, water nor a ride home.</p><p>Today’s another practice, so I walked towards the bench. I placed my bag on the bench and removed my jacket when suddenly, Hinata approached me. <b>"Your flower is blooming, isn't it?" </b>He asked.</p><p>Shocked about his sudden approach, I took a step back. <b>"What?" </b>I muttered as I gave him my signature glare with a matching brows meeting. He pointed to my back.</p><p><b>"There's an arch, Omi-san." </b>He whispered. His words made me want to wear my jacket, so I did and ran towards the restroom.</p><p>There, I removed my jacket and shirt. I turned my back on the mirror and took glances. The vines that used to look like it's about to die anytime soon are now filled with life, with it's green pigmented tiny leaves. There is a flower, a blue rose that contrasts with my snow-white skin as I stare ahead. <em>'It's beautiful, just like him when he was fast asleep' </em>I thought.</p><p>Suddenly, I heard the restroom door creak open, I quickly wore my shirt but, I think he saw it since he entered halfway. <em>'Did he saw my flower?' </em>I thought to myself as I felt my heartbeat, every single pound in my chest. It's ringing in my ear.</p><p>There he was standing, one minute his face shows shock and for another minute it's gone. He's smiling again like he saw nothing. <b>"I see, your flower bloomed." </b>He said with a smile but deep in my heart, I know that it wasn't sincere. <b>"Congrats! It's a beautiful flower." </b>He said as he turned around.</p><p><b>“I just want to say, thank you for the jacket.” </b>He said before he left the room completely, leaving the jacket on top of the sink.</p><p>I want to call him out, I want to scream that he's my soulmate but, after all that’s happened between us. I hesitated. I was scared, what if he'll reject my feelings. What if he's dubious? It's too hard to risk.</p><p>As I walked out of the restroom everyone was already warming up and doing their usual stretch. I quickly walked to where they were, keeping my distance as always but, managing to do their activities.</p><p>We did the same routine two versus two match to improve our individual strengths. Everything felt normal yet but, why do I feel there's a heavy atmosphere between us? It's suffocating.</p><p>After practice, everyone left except me and Atsumu. We stayed in the club room, our back facing each other as we sat on the benches. There was silence, it felt like a poison to me, for in that void of sound the shallowness of their conversation was laid bare.</p><p>I made the first move and made a sound. <b>"What are you so afraid of?" </b>I muttered. I heard his slightest movements, I knew he was shocked by the sudden attack.</p><p><b>"What do you mean?" </b>He asked.</p><p><b>"I know you know what I mean. I know everything so, why are you still keeping that mask when you're with me," </b>I told him straight forward as I turned to face him but he still insisted on facing me instead.</p><p><b>"So, what if you know? It's not like you can change anything." </b>He muttered. I huffed a sigh.</p><p><em>'I can't take this anymore, who cares about germs anyway? Nah, I changed my mind. All I care about is you. You may be a pee-head virus in my eyes but, you're the only one who made my barrier fall down like it was made out of nothing.' </em>I thought as I moved closer to him.</p><p>I moved closer to his ear as I blew my warm breath. I felt him shiver. <b>"Wha- what are you doing?" </b>He asked.</p><p><b>"Making you realize," </b>I whispered to his ear in a husky tone. His ears turned red, I bet his face is flustered too.</p><p>He stood up from his seat and walked towards the door as fast as he could, hiding his flushed red face. I quickly ran towards him and grabbed his wrist. In a snap, he found himself pinned by me against the door.</p><p><b>"Your flower bloomed, didn't it?" </b>I asked, looking at him straight through his eyes but, he kept avoiding my gaze. <b>"Answer me, Atsumu," </b>I commanded.</p><p>He nodded but then his facial expression changed. <b>"But, it's not you... It cannot be you... Your flower is different from mine..." </b>He uttered those words with pure sadness. His eyes say it all.</p><p>I chuckled, <b>"Tough luck, I guess.." </b>I muttered before gazing directly at his eyes. <b>"Too bad, like a petal that has fallen from a dead flower, I've fallen for you knowing it would never work out... " </b>I said before I kissed him. My world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. My hand rested below his ear, as my thumb caressed his cheek as our breaths mingled.</p><p>He splayed his hand against my chest, intending to push me away. He urged himself to push me away, and he did. I was taken aback, catching my breath. <b>"Stop," </b>He said as I took a step back, away from him.</p><p>I let him go from my pin, he was looking down for a moment and left. I was left there confused by my mixed emotions. ‘<em>if it's not him then, who?’ </em>I thought to myself as I felt this heavy rock in my chest.</p><p>
  <b>Atsumu’s P.O.V</b>
</p><p>A month had passed and we didn’t even make contact with each other as if we were ghosts to each other's presence. We just attended a match today and it was exhausting, everyone left except for me. I was left to get my stuff in the club room. As I opened the door of the changing room, a man leaning by lockers, seated on the floor caught my attention. It was Sakusa.</p><p><em>‘He probably got exhausted from the match a while ago,’ </em>I thought to myself, kneeling down as I stared at the young male right in front of me. Everything at that moment was perfect, how the light from the moon, radiated him as he was sleeping peacefully like an angel in disguise.</p><p><em>‘It wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer right?’ </em>I uttered to myself, still mesmerized by his beauty. I slowly sat next to him, trying not to bother him in his peaceful state,</p><p>
  <b>“You could’ve just left me, you know?”</b>
</p><p>
  <b>“That night at the party, you were already free to leave with everyone…”</b>
</p><p>
  <b>“So why did you choose to stay with me?”</b>
</p><p>Yes, I’m well aware that he couldn’t hear me but I couldn’t help it. What did he see in me? Knowing him, it’s ridiculous to help someone like me, so why would you ever help someone like me? A lost cause, a flawed and broken man, a person who easily disappoints people around him without even trying,</p><p>I was suddenly stunned when I felt him lean on my shoulder, still fast asleep. <em>‘He probably just took pity on me that night’</em> I thought to myself as I slowly leaned him back to the lockers.</p><p><b>“I guess I have already fallen in the hands of fate, I’ve fallen for you but, I couldn’t admit it cause I can never be yours,” </b>I uttered, with a smile that quickly faded away, replaced with tears and pain, knowing that I’m not the one made for him, and he wasn’t the one made for me, I then moved my arm to my back, but I felt a warm hand on my wrist.</p><p><b>“If you love me why didn’t you say so?” </b>He whispered, I was left in shock as he slowly pulled my hand down and intertwined his.</p><p><b>“Stop this Sakusa,” </b>I commanded as I let go of my hand and stand up. He just looked at me, there was pain in his eyes. It’s telling me to come to him, to love him but, I know I can’t. <b>“I’m far too damaged for you to love, don’t give me hope. We’re not made for each other.” </b>I shouted. </p><p><b>“Tsumu, listen to me… Stop being in pain and give me a chance okay? Let’s heal together.” </b>He said in a calming manner. His words I hate very much, they’re too painful to hear for it reaches the part of me that wishes to wither away. They’re too tempting to resist. I hate it.</p><p><b>“Stop saying that we have a chance, Sakusa. In this world wherein we are born with our fates decided, you’re that one person that I can never attain.” </b>I cried out, as I removed my shirt showing him the flower on my back.</p><p>His eyes grew wide as he saw my flower blooming in my back. Its royal blue color made it even more stunning when accompanied by the moon’s light. <b>“Do you believe me now? I’ve had enough with this game called love,”</b> I muttered as I saw a tear cascade down his face yet, he still insisted on moving towards my direction with arms wide open.</p><p>I moved my hand towards my back. <b>“I’ll change my fate.” </b>I said as I tried to grope the flower from my back. Once I finally had my grip on it, he came running to me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close, gently caressing my hair as I plucked the rose at the same time.</p><p>Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of his body pressed against mine. I sunk into the warmth of his side, as I cried my heart out. His touch made the room warmer somehow, I felt safe. Suddenly, I felt a warm liquid dripping from my forehead. I tried to push him to check but he embraced me tighter than before.</p><p><b>“Don’t look at me.” </b>He assured, but his voice told the other. I can feel something isn’t right. It’s the feeling I felt when my connection with Samu was gone. When I realized that, I pushed him with all my might.</p><p>Seeing his face made my tears cascade down my face. My body started to shiver as I saw him. <b>“What have I done?” </b>I muttered as my voice started to shake, my legs lost its strength and bended on both knees. There he was standing, his tears were made of blood, his nose bleeding, as his arms turned black, as if he’s withering like a flower but in a fast manner. <b>“No…”</b> I shouted. </p><p><b>“You know what, Atsumu? Roses fall but the thorns remain.” </b>He said as he came closer, and embraced me. <b>“So, this time can I take your thorns with me and leave you the beauty of this flower.” </b>He added. I can’t make myself utter a word, I was shivering yet, I felt safe in his arms. A warmth that I never wanted to fade.</p><p><b>“The blue rose fits us very well, doesn't it? It symbolizes things that are desired but cannot be attainted, like you. Your love is something I can never have, not anymore. I’m sorry, Atsumu.” </b>He said as he withered away in thin air, leaving me behind.</p><p>I watched him fade, with every second, every minute, I saw him go. I tried touching him for the last time but my hand just went through him, all I could do was watch and scream as he faded. All I could take hold on to was his clothes, it smelled like home. The home that I never had.</p><p>I felt an object in his clothes so I checked it out, hoping for traces of him but all I found was a rose. A blue rose, a rose without its thorns. No words could ever describe the sense of guilt, regret and pain that I’m feeling.</p><p>The sun was already coming up, Atsumu was still there, curled up in the corner of the room, holding onto the rose of his lover, begging for him to come back.</p><p>
  <em>‘Even if a hundred years would pass, I will never forget you. For the hardest love to forget, is the one that never happened…’</em>
</p><p>
  <b>THE END</b>
</p><p> </p>
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